Let's be honest, Auckland sucks...for a lot of reasons... but it really sucks for its resident surfers.
The first batch; Devonpoint, Bridge Lefts and Te Atatubes
A while ago I had great fun making up some mythical waves around the AK, people loved them, they liked the accompanying fantastic tales of the 'new' break's origin. Over the last week a few more have been made up. These aren't photoshopped masterpieces, a lot more time could be spent making them seamless. But it's not really the point of them, it's just a bit of flat day, mid winter fun.
The highly fictitious and rare Westhaven Breakwater Rights. In the post Covid/ climate change Auckland, the world has settled on it's new West/East axis and the old Poles have melted. Both Great and Little Barrier have been mined to the sea floor for their copper and guano as part of the Chinese economic bail out. And thank God, Auckland City Council realised the North Shore was no longer viable with it’s bursting population of Karens. In a somewhat PC move only Bayswater to Devonport were levelled and shipped to the PRC for scoria gardens. This of course was a win, win, with a another massive cash injection and stopped all the whinging about there being a need for another harbour crossing.
Auckland's surfers wrung their hands with glee. The new Barrier Trench created the swell window they had dreamed of for generations. All the inner harbour reefs that had only previously showed in the wake of the Kestral now fire up on every south swell [which is the new east]
Ahhh in our dreams.
Westhaven Breakwater, angled perfectly diagonal to the new swell window produces some of the best rights in Auckland, many surfers comparing it to a reverse Manu Bay. As the Harbour was ruined for racing wind bludgers, all the Yacht Clubs lining the breakwater defaulted on their leases. The Boardriders clubs swooped in on the empty buildings. Good luck getting a wave to yourself on any given weekend. But as the America’s Cup was always now held in Barbados anyway, the WiSL was invited by the AK City Council to run the Grand Finale of the Tour in the shadow of the bridge…hence the new generation of part Brazilian grommets on the rise surfing the inside at Point Erin.
Westie Loggers heaven Cornwallis Wharf. It only breaks in a rare east westerly swell, but when it does all of Titirangi’s glitterati drop their soy double decafes and get amongst the 100 m peelers. Heavily localised by ex Steiner passive aggressive hippie offspring it’s highly likely you’ll see good waves but somehow always be snaked by a moustached beaver tail wearing, single fin rider. The only way to beat em is to attend multiple exhibition openings at Lopdel House. Infiltrate to confuse.
Continuing the random series of mythical Auckland Breaks; North Head and Cheltnam beach from the air. In the previous post it was mentioned that Bayswater to Devonport were deleted. The volcanic scoria being mined for gardens in the PRC. And the suburbs laden with WASPS and Karens being relocated to the former Red Zones of Christchurch, a total win, win. Prior to the mining the east coast of the peninsula lit up with breaks. The Left Slab at Narrow Neck was called Yours, 'cos that's pretty much all anyone said in the line up. Cheltnam's muddy flats created a soft left that the resident SUPers loved. It was heavily localised, anyone daring to actually surf it would be beaten by the paddles of middle aged buoyancy vest wearing hefty's.
North Head was the gem though; the combination of a strong channel current, especially on an out going tide, would see the swell stand up and grind around the Head like a hooker on payday. While it was missed, the whole Auckland surf community agreed West Haven and Meola Reef were far superior breaks anyway. And sometimes you have to take a hit for the greater good.
Winner Winner...
Last week's post had a give-away involved. And only 50 people entered.... is it right to point out the low pick up? Who knows! Anyway the odds were pretty darn good for those that bothered to email back two simple words. A number was chosen using Random.org's number generator and Spud Brown won...actually that is their email handle...how good!
From The Galleries
I do shoot legitimate waves too! Here's a solid one from two winters ago. You can view it better HERE